You Have Been Warned
Thus with that we begin…
How do you choose between the family that raised you, or your blood family? You don’t. You kill yourself to show them how much you care about both of them, and also to tell them “How dare you make me choose one over the other.” It’s that simple really. Oh, but then there’d be no story to tell? There’d be no satisfying conclusion? What? You want an actual story? You don’t want to hurt both families? You don’t want to be the pathetic solo version of Romeo and Juliet? My bad, I guess I have to negate the easy pessimistic path, actually give you some background information, and then actually give you an answer.
So I was raised by Nohr, grew up with these 4 other brats I call my siblings, and I love them to pieces. Sounds great, right? I love being the center of attention because I’m that novelty locked away in a tower. Father is strict beyond reasonable means and will have people killed for the slightest… slight against him. No problem, everything’s peaches and apples here. Until of course I’m next on the chopping block and my siblings take me out of the fire and toss me on the frying pan. Not horrible, but not the greatest either, but considering Nohr (at least in royal/political affairs) is just one big frying pan you really can’t do much better, unless of course you’re the fire.
So because I have a compassionate heart, and couldn’t kill defenseless prisoners, my loyalty is questioned by my own dear old dad, and sent on a reconnaissance mission to check out an abandoned fort, along with an ex-convict that now holds a position in the Nohrian military. Fantastic, I’m sure we’ll be best buds in no time. The “abandoned” fort, turns out to be quite populated, and when told to halt, my new BFF decides he wants to kill all the things, instigate a war, and try to knock me down the Abyss of Despair, which is where the fort is located, in which he basically succeeds in doing. Also RIP Gunter.
With that, you’re dead. You beat the ga… oh some tiny dragon bird fish thing saved me.
Turns out it’s that one person I knew at the place with the things that happened that was a bird I saved that became a person and decided to stick with me because appreciation, and loyalty, and stuff. REASONS. MY CASTLE. ASTRAL PLANE. STREET PASS. MULTIPLAYER. INTERACTIVE BETWEEN CHAPTER AREA.
So you’re alive and well, with a bump on your head, turns out one of the prisoners you were supposed to slay, but showed compassion to, found you and is planning on eating you alive. But first she wants to take you to Hoshido for food inspection, after all you can never be to careful about what you eat up off the ground. Thus you soon find yourself in Hoshido, where you’re treated like unexpectedly treated like royalty. Turns out your a Prince/cess of not one but TWO Kingdoms, awesome right? That sounds like being the child of Divorced Parents but escalated to a Royal Country wide scale. This clearly meant… More siblings. Five more to be exact, and I got to meet my real mom. It was a blast, and we bonded. So much bonding, and remembering… or trying to remember.
Then before you can say, “burninate.” The town square gets burninated by some purple hooded magic man who used my fathers gift of a cursed sword to blow things up. Oh yeah, my father gave me some kind of cursed looking sword, which is how I fell into the Abyss of Despair. This was a thing that happened. So yeah, before you can say “burninate” everything goes to hell, mother gives her life to save me, I scream in despair, and turn into a dragon. I guess falling into the Abyss of Despair makes you feel despair soon after the fact. But yes, now I’m a totally awesome Dragoniator that’s going to return the Burnination, and take my revenge, which means everyone with me is totally useless in a fight and only use themselves as bait, so that they get closer to me so I can kill them, because by some random chance, three of them have Dragon-slaying Swords. You really can’t be to well prepared these days can you? I wonder how that conversation went down…
So as the child of a divorced… I mean two Kin.. So as Royalty of two nations, you eventually find yourself being fought over by your two sets of siblings, so you rejoice because you love the attention, and are hoping to milk this for all it’s worth, like any cold-hearted, calculating scumbag child who finds himself having divorced parents. I would know, for realsies. But just like in real life, I was met with disappointment, as instead of my intentions discovered right away, I was put in a high pressure situation where I had to make a choice between one or the other. So there I stood, between two sets of hunks and cuties… I mean siblings… waiting for me to make a choice, and so I killed myself and shamed both sides of the conflict, and the world was at peace.
“Hey… um Brad. Why you bringing Wyrmslayers? We’re invading Hoshido, they don’t have Dragon Knights. Only Sky Knights… and they ride Pegasi.”
“Oh idunno Chad, after we blow the place to bits, someone might turn into a dragon because their mom whom they were just reunited with got killed protecting him, then she’ll say somthing like ‘I’m so glad, you’re alright’ before passing away in her child’s arms, looking ever so peaceful and content with the fact she saved them as any parent probably would be, and you know, I want to be prepared for that scenario.”
“You know, what Brad? I feel you man. I feel you, and I support you, I’ll do the same, we’re a team after all.”
So, Brad and Chad paired up and went on their merry way.
Thought we weren’t going the pessimistic route? Well we didn’t, we all know Brad and Chad died by dragon, which by the way is an amazing way to go. But if you’re still feeling down about it, know that they will forever live on in our hearts and minds. May they rest on in pieces, scattered across the country side… As fertilizer. Flowers grew because of them, you know? Flowers that put smiles on people faces. They’re bringing smiles to everyone. That’s why the world’s at peace. Chad & Brad. The heroes we needed, not the hero we deserved.
(read as: Corrin)