Whether ’tis nobler in the eyes to suffer
the slings and arrows of consistent text,
Or to take ears against the original content
and by opposing hear English. To dub, To sub…
That is the question.
Ruining Shakespeare aside, when it comes to Anime, there’s always been a divide between people who watch the subs, and the people who watch the dubs. Now when I say divide, I mean there’s this huge uncrossable gap that’s been fueled by hate and blood through many years of war. This war has gone on for so long in fact, that the original reason for fighting, has been lost to the ages, other than the remnant words “sub” and “dub.”
Now that you know the state of affairs in our domain, I can proceed to educate you on the proper way to watch anime. In fact, not just anime, any foreign visual media! The proper way to do so… Is to watch the SUBS. That’s right you dub-scum, I’m about to go on a cherry picking bias adventure to show you why Dubs are just completely the worst things ever. So if you want to argue to me that Full Metal Alchemist, or Dragon Ball Z had good dubs, then be warned, I’m pretending the dubbed versions of those shows do not exist. In fact I’ll go so far as to show only 2 examples of clips to make my case and point, because that’s how far my bias glasses are willing to go.
First off we have Steins;Gate. That’s right that beloved sc-fi anime show with time travel. There’s a scene where Okabe and Suzuha go around looking for a button. When he comes across a black man he speaks in Jive to him. This comes off as racist. So I guess Okabe is racist in the dubbed version… and this brings down my rating for the show from 10/10 to 1/10. I can’t believe they completely ruined his character in the dubbed version. He’s not even the same character anymore. Might as well call him Hououin Kyouma or something ridiculous like that. I would know he’s not the same anymore, I read the visual novel before I watched the anime. Does that relate to my point in any way? No, no it does not, but my status is clearly elevated as a Steins; Gate fan. Duh.
Oh, you’re saying he’s still coming off as racist in the original, pure, clean, and perfect Japanese version? WELL, that’s where you’re wrong buddy. Japanese people in Japan, generally assume you don’t speak Japanese if you look like a foreigner. Basically if you don’t look Asian, you don’t speak Japanese, and they’re probaly right on that one. So you see, Okabe is just your normal Japanese guy. PLUS the vendors Japanese is clearly a bit choppy, so he wasn’t to far off the block with his assumption. We see more of this evidenced in the visual novel.
Moving on, we have the absolute PINNACLE of English dubbing in anime…
I have no words for this debacle. Other than it’s clearly the perfect example to sum English dubs as a whole. I mean they took Saint Seiya, and ABSOLUTELY RUINED IT. This beautiful classic about golden haired pretty boys, in beautiful armor that go around saving the world, and galaxy, and universe with supernatural powers AND FRIENDSHIP has been completey dismantled by English dubs.
(Disclaimer: I have never watched Saint Seiya, nor do I know the first thing about it.) This is an unforgivable crime against Anime. All of you who prefer dubs like to pretend this is a forgivable crime, or worse… You pretend it doesn’t exist. How dare you cry out to me with the names Edward Elric, and Goku, when they’ve destroyed Saint Seiya. HOW DARE YOU.
So now that I’ve showed you the error of you ways, I hope you can redeem your self and abandon all dubs. As for you sub-ers out there, stay strong for the sake for the long road ahead. LONG LIVE THE SUBS, DOWN WITH THE DUBS.
This has been a work of Satire.